January 28, 2012


Seindah apa pun huruf terukir, dapatkah Ia bermakna apabila tak ada jeda?
Dapatkah Ia dimengerti jika tak ada spasi?
Bukankah kita baru bisa bergerak jika ada jarak?
Dan saling menyayang bila ada ruang?

Kasih sayang akan membawa dua orang makin berdekatan, tapi Ia tak ingin mencekik, jadi ulurlah tali itu
Nafas akan melega dengan sepasang paru-paru yang tak dibagi
Darah mengalir deras dengan jantung yang tidak dipakai dua kali

Jiwa tidaklah dibelah, tapi bersua dengan jiwa lain yang searah
Jadi jangan lumpuhkan aku dengan mengatasnamakan kasih sayang

Mari berkelana dengan rapat tapi tak dibebat, janganlah saling membendung apabila tak ingin tersandung
Pegang tanganku, tapi jangan terlalu erat, karena aku ingin seiring dan bukan digiring
prosa dikutip dari Dee

January 23, 2012

"Have you ever ..."

Have you ever felt like you don’t know what to feel?
Have you ever felt like you stared blankly at the computer screen trying to unscramble your thoughts, your feelings?
Have you ever felt like everything you do feels so empty, so blank? Have you ever felt like the world you’re in just collapse upon your shoulder within a night?
Have you ever felt like everything just seems so bitter? Have you ever felt like no matter how much you try to express your feelings, it’s never enough to make you feel okay?
Have you ever felt like all the hopes you once carried, no longer seem to matter? Have you ever felt like you wanted to scream all the unwanted emotions that you don’t even know what the hell you’re feeling?
Have you ever felt like you wanted to just sit out in the cold and let everything just fall apart?
Have you ever felt like you just wanted to eat your heart out? Have you ever felt like you’re never good enough for anyone even though you clearly know there’s someone out there who sees you as good enough regardlessly?
Have you ever felt like you wanted a hug, but there’s nobody to turn to because everyone’s too far out of your reach? Have you ever felt so out of places?
Have you ever felt like you don’t know what’s going on anymore. Like you don’t care about anything anymore.
Your mind is set on too many things that you are confused about your feelings, and you can’t explain how you feel either.
The feeling of emptiness,
and feeling that barely anyone is there for you.
Feeling that no one understands you anymore. And it seems like there is nothing to look forward to anymore.

Have you ever felt like this?
Because I sure hell am feeling all this right now.

January 9, 2012

Have I told you that my handphone has been stolen on Saturday? Yea. I lost my phone. Someone stole it from my bag when I'm at flea market with my friend. Couldn't explain more. I'm still sad to be honest, but yea, life goes on. I hope It means that I couldn't watch The Horrors or Architecture in Helsinki concert and saving my money to buy new phone. Yah, but I don't know if I watch 'em or not, still pay attention about saving money to buy new phone. God bless my wallet. Really need a tons of money miracle this month. Ha. Dear snatcher, whoever and wherever you are, I hope you have an agonizing death and rot and burned in the darkest and deepest corner of hell.


PS: Btw, I'm going to watch Foster The People on Wednesday. Haaaa, can't hardly wait. Exceedingly excited <3

January 4, 2012


kalau aku sudah dewasa
aku ingin menikah dengan kata
kami tinggal di rumah sederhana
tiang-tiangnya adalah air mata
ada huruf, kalimat, paragraf
duduk-duduk di sekitar halaman
mereka sedang belajar membaca
tentang apa itu cinta?
lalu mereka tertawa,
ada pernyataan begini:
“cinta itu bukan kata
cinta itu air mata.”
tapi aku tidak pernah dewasa
  aku tidak.
sajak dikutip dari perempuansore

January 3, 2012

a happy new year story

 No one can go back and change the beginning, but everyone can start today and change the ending.
Happy New Year everyone!
I hope this year will bring you all more Love & Happiness. Your chance has been given to start out fresh with new goals & better decisions. Forget those who didn’t care & take those who did. Find more reasons to laugh & get rid of those that make you cry. Forgive the things, the people that just doesn’t matter anymore & work harder for those that still do.
Your book has opened up a new chapter for you, it’s time to start writing; make it worth reading. I’m wishing everyone out there all of the best for this upcoming year. That you find the strength to keep all of your resolutions to the end, that you have all of the happiness and love you can handle (and then some), and that life is kind to you.
Happy new year 2012! :)
 (know I’m probably really late in saying this, but I wanted to nonetheless)

PS: I hope you all had a great new years eve :). I just spend my new years eve at home with my cat, good music, Sylvia Plath's book, and sat alone on the rooftop of my house watching the fireworks. It really quiet and peaceful. I'm such a loner sometimes, yea.

Me :)