Acceptance

I took a really long time for me to comes with an acceptance that certain people are meant to fall in love with each other, but not meant to be together. Here, let me give you a little throwback. You and I met when both of us was in a very dark place. When both of us still carrying our own baggage. Baggage that should have been left behind. What happened before, happened so fast. You felt so much for me while I was still holding on to something else and vice versa. Both of us never got time to heal, or gives the love and compassion that we deserved for each other ― in an appropriate way.

But when I told you that our connection was incredible, I really mean it. I still remember how we were able to talk for hours. We would talk about anything. I would tell you about how I wanted to be a fashionpreneur as soon as I graduate from college, and you would tell me about how can people admire One Direction's songs. I remember when you started the first conversations between us. I still remember how the first hello brought us. I remember when we held hands and when we shared our last. Until the silence between us occured, I remember that your heart always belongs to someone else.

It's always interesting to think about how we used to try to decipher that you and I were meant to be. Okay, perhaps it's just me. Part of me wants to believe this notion of destiny. Part of me wants to believe that you and I were meant to be. I really want to believe it was fate that brought us together in that social media. Fool enough? Yes. But I'm not sorry that I used to tragically misinterprated about the idea of us meant to be.

But things we once had subsided quickly, and its like we were only infatuated. We're all wired to find love and when we met someone who radiates it, we naturally crave their company, I kinda forgot who said this but I think that's what happened between us after all this time. Maybe you came into my life as a lesson. Teaching me why it’s important to let go of the past, and to not look at what is behind you. That’s a plausible reality, but one that I refuse to accept. For a long time. I refuse to believe you came into my life as only a lesson. I used to.

After a long seperate, we met again and here we are, physically available but things between us already different now. I'm currently wonderfully enjoy my own emotional independence and you're... currently dealing with the aches and pains of your lost love. We always met at the wrong time. Again.  But hopefully in a few years from now we can give it another shot. Maybe we can get to know each other again. Maybe we can remake the maps and explore the depths of our inner beings. Maybe we can do things for real at that time.

“Semoga jika kelak hari itu ada, 
 kita sudah sama-sama selesai.
Selesai mencari, selesai bermain-main
dan selesai saling menyakiti hati;
entah milik sendiri atau milik orang lain”