Happy-Go-Lucky

So, I've got some big news that I can't wait to share to you on this blog.

First.... I'm officially a 11 grader of social class. YEAH. I'm insanely happy and excited about this. Thanks god, this is makes me supah-dupah happy. I can't stop saying "Thankyou" to people around me who gives me support and not getting bored to hear my story about my "not-so-happy-first-year-in highschool". What a beautiful ending. Thankyou. :')

And the second news, I'm winning a photography contest in my school. Third place. Not bad. I'm so happy. And I can't wait to use the toycamera as a reward from this contest. Yay!!! :DDD

And the last news, I'm going to jogjakarta in a couple days. Alone. By train. So excited because this is the first time i'm going to other town without my parents. I'm going to stay in cheap hotel, go to nowhere by walking or public transportation, taking lot of pictures, eat traditional food and etc. Ugh can't wait! And the biggest thing why I really can't wait to go to Jogjakarta: I'm going to meet Bayu! YAY! I really miss him a lot.

Gonna post those fun stuff later, will miss you guys :*

Wish me luck (again), Please?

I'm getting my reportcard for last period tomorrow.

Dammit. I'm so nervous about my repotcard. I'm really afraid if the result is bad that makes me held back in the class. Oh gawd, I don't want it. Please, I really want to go to eleven grade in social class. Lord, help me. I tried so hard to change my score, now it's time to pray harder. Fiuh, wish me luck guys :)

 

Kebun Raya Bogor

I went to Kebun Raya Bogor (Bogor Botanical Gardens) on last Thursday with my pal, Fitri Rizki.

We're going there by Train and after about one hour we were stuck in a crowded of the train, we arrived at Bogor.

Here are some photos. I will add more later ;p

And this is Fitri Rizki

Rest in Peace

Thankyou for being a good friend for almost seven months. Rest in peace you little moron. So long, Partner. You shall live in the hearts of those who loved you and will thus never die or be forgotten, Jenny :')

(PS: If you meet my grandma in heaven, would you mind to tell her that I really miss her so much? ;p)

Changes

I've changed quite a lot I believe.

My 4th birthday party

 

Well, I've gone through a lot of really intense moments during these past one year. One year ago, I learned that you can't change people's mentalities and that sometimes you have to let people go whether or not you want to. One year ago I learned that sometimes being alone isn't too bad. This year was such a breeze.

Me on Junior High School. I'm the second one from left. I was looked so happy here

This is my closest friend from JHS I ever had (until now). She's vika, I've mentioned about her a few times on this blog, so..

From left to right: Kak Cika, Me, Jorgie

Dinda & Jeci. It's funny. Me, cika, dinda, jeci, jorgie met in Facebook and strangely we're instantly click each other until now.

I never had the problems I do now, I didn't have the mentality that I have now. Last year I was extremely optimistic and so willing to go out and try new things. Nothing bothered me. Everything I did, I did it with passion. I was so happy.

My friend from high school. As you know, Im happy but I'm not-so-click-into-them. Well, not all of them. But, it feels like I'm wearing a mask when I hang out with them.

This is a few people that close enough with me. The closest one is a girl with the red outfit.

Best chairmate and best partner in crime in highschool.

Now i'm screwed up, depressed, bipolar, stressed, hopeless, and just so defeated my life. I've learned many things, i've been trying my best to regain my happiness I once had. I've changed in the sense that sometimes doing what you want comes with consequences and that you're not always right.

One of my biggest changes: I started to be an active smoker. I'm on the process to stop it. But it ain't easy as you thought, k?

I feel extremely happy with everything that not realted to "My Current School"

 

 But I have gained so much knowledge and I've been trying to stay true to myself. I've been surrounding my self with the right people as opposed to hanging out with the people that only made fun of me. I've learned so much. Yeah. Maybe I'm more unhappy than I've seen in a while

I might have some psychological and mental problems here and there. But i've been trying to accept myself and I've been trying my best to live my life the best way possible. I've learned a lot and I've been trying to put my knowledge to use.

I changed a lot in these past one year. Everything in me has changed. Including my hair....it getting longer

 

and Yep. I decided to cut my long hair that I've grow it since 9 grade.  

 I do not have any expectation like attention or mercy, I just want to share my experience and some mental issues and dramas that I've been through. I don't feel a shame if you call me like bipolar or whatever you name it. We can't expect anything from life, and we can't hiding or refuse when we're faced with situation like that. All we need to do is deal with it and fight to survive from it




Wow. It really surprised me when write this post and look out the pictures above. I've changed a lot. Everything changed a lot and went so fast

A thought of a Dreamer #2

I like waking up after it had rained. The smell of wet nature is such a pleasure. Living in front of a large forest is the best thing that could ever happen to you. You get the chance to live close to the nature. Always waking up to singing birds is lovely. The fog around your house, maybe there is also a little creek in your environment. Living next to the nature is sometimes better then living in a huge city with lots of noise and anonymity.

I'm Back

Hello, I'm back, as I promised to you my dearest readers. I've finished my final exam and now I currently doing my remedials in a few subject. Wish me luck! :)

Anyway, there are many things happened that I really can't wait to share and write it in this blog. First, let me introduce you to my old friend named "Kak Novi" why did I call her "Kak"? Yeah obviously, she's older than me. one year older than me. We haven't met since six months or more.

This is Kak Novi ;p

 Then we decided to meet on 711 near my house. We ride motorcycle! Hahaha. It was really fun. She ride a big motorcycle with a jacket that looks like a big sack that covered her tiny body. Haha.

the view from the outside. and it was 9 pm

We talked about everything. She talked about her career, she told me that she planned to join a talent artist agency. She really interested with acting and she really want being an actrees and she dreamed one day her face will appear on Television. Haha, it kinda ridiculous, but hey, why not? There's nothing impossible if we do not afraid to dreaming and reach our dreams to become to reality.

 And then I start to told her about my story. I talked about my life lately that really bites, I told her about my school life. I told her how I tried to study hard 'til morning but it seemed not enough because I still got bad score in the end. I told her how I felt about this-shity-discrimination in this school. I told her that I secretly hate everyone (read: fake ass friends) in my school and everything inside. I told her I'm tired of being tired.

She listened without a voice. She listened and look me in the eyes and said that she feels sorry about how I feel right now. She told me that this is the end of semester and there's nothing I can do except fight fo the final exam and study hard. Don't let yourself drowned in this shitty situation, doing nothing and let yourself held back in class, she said. She give me an dvice for very long time, and I listened every words that came up from her mouth.

 She told me that she used to know me as a strong girl that not easily afraid to something, not the little one who weak and easily give up.

and yes. that cigarette was mine.

  And then we talked about the other things for hours and didn't realized it was 2 A.M! Hahaha. And she decided to go home before her mom start to yelled. And so do I.

Thanks for your very-long-advice but it really help me to feel better. I wuff you, my tiny little sister :)

P.S: There's something new from me.  Can't wait to write about it  ;p 

Another Photo

COMING SOON 

after I finish my final exam ;p