December 28, 2011

A very late birthday present

I've got a little packet from a postman few days ago.

It's from a guy, I won't mention his name, you know, it probably would make his head getting "bigger" when he read this post haha.

At first I wondering, what is that? Why did he send me a packet, while in the night before he spent the whole night with me? And then I tear out the wrap paper and find these:

Thus, I just want to thanking you for those stuff even though it 24 days late from my birthday in 25 November.
Thank you for giving me that book that I've spent 3 years to looking for it. Thank you for the birthday poster, I really like it I swear.
And thank you for the love letter that really make me fly to the moon, thank you for still being yourself when you wrote that letter and not to try to give me those sappy-romantic words or something like that.
I am thanking you from my heart’s bottom.
Words can't say how much I appreciate what you did.
Thank you, again. 


December 15, 2011

A thought of a Dreamer #11

So, here the story goes.
I had a kind of weird habit, an unusual habit that probably common people didn't do this stuff. I don't know if is there any people out there do this. Well I'm not sure. Ha. Yeah, it probably kinda makes you guys a lil' bit curious and wondering what the heck I'm going to talk about. Okay. So I have a habit that started when I was on 8 grade on junior high school. Pretty long ago right. It's like there's just a day, where I want to be alone. Really alone. Literally. Not connecting with those society stuff, turn off my cellphone, go to somewhere that I'm sure there's no one (my friends) would find me or meet me  accidentally.
It's sounds weird maybe. I'm sure you might think I'm an anti-social or I had social-anxiety disorder or a kind like that and you're gonna close my blog and never come back again. Ahaha. That's quite funny, but no I'm not like that, I just want to share this. And that's all. Oh shit, I'm start to digress from the topic again.

So today, I did my "weird habit" again. I'm going to Mall near my house, well not really near, it's quite far I thought. I went to that mall by public transportation and it's pretty crowded, for cat's sake. I can't stand. I just sit on the corner chair of the bus and start to "watching people". There are so many people that came from different background. And with different attitude.
So there's a guy, maybe about 25, wearing his office uniform. and jesus, this guy is definitely a massive scumbag. He always stare at woman (esp. young lady) with his I have no idea how to define his face, maybe his horny face, and at that time, he was staring at young lady who quite beautiful. and staring at her chest (read: breast) with "that" look. And he was smiling and keep staring. And I just like what the heck he was doing. I wish that young lady knew and slapped him with her high heels. Its kinda disgusting I guess. So I started to busy-ing my slef with my ipod and start to listen to Alex Turner's song. My favorite all the time.
And then I'm arrived on my destination. Damn, there are plenty officers that just came back from work I guess. Ha. So I'm going to a bookstore. Then I'm arrived at Literature section. Ah man, you have no idea how much I love classic literature book. It feels like there's an urge on my mind to grab all of those books and runaway out from the bookstore and not going to the "cashier section" hahaha. But calm down, I didn't do that. I just read some books, that quite good and "put" it on my "book that worth to buy" list.

But seriously, this month I've spent half of my money quite fast without I realize. I've spent them by bought some dvd's and books, band t-shirt, foods, and some new flat shoes. But I barely spend my money to buy an accesories or stuff like that. I don't really like using necklace or ring, yeah kind like that. But sometimes, I do use it, yea. I'd rather spend my money to stuffs like on the above. Oh back to book, I planned to buy Sylvia Plath's book but it out of stuck. Shit. I've spent like my entire life to searching for her book. I'm not give up yet. Damn you Sylvia for amazed me with your beautiful mind.

And then I'm going to Cikini, to my favorite coffee shop all the time. Seriously, I really love this place. It's a good place to being alone and spending your night with good coffee and good atmosphere I thought. So I've been in here like 2 hours, listening to my ipod and watching people passing by. And incidentaly, I heard this conversation between girl and boy. I think they're a couple. And they're just in fight I guess. A boy asked a girl to forgive him and explained something, I don't know, I didn't really hear that. And then suddenly a girl cried and say a little out loud "I've give you everything I had, why did you do this to me". That's the only sentence I heard clearly. And the boy explained something again. I didn't heard it. Ah damn you boy for not letting me heard what did you say. Okay, I'm a massive kepo.

The boy keep saying sorry to the girl. It start to entertain me I thought. I don't really heard what did they both said, all I heard in the end of their fight, the girl would forgive the boy, but the boy should bought her a things that she like. And the boy agreed, the boy said he would bought the girl a bag, idk, he said Hermes if I wasn't wrong. And they hugged. And go to the exit door. They leave the coffee shop.

I just can't say a word. It's a kind of pity, a kind of sad, what a shame, we sacrifice our self esteem for material things like a bag. Or anything else. The society is kinda fucked up nowadays.  The world is mad and the people are sad.
Woah, it kinda amazed me that I've wrote this long shit. I think I should go home now. The coffee shop is going to close I thought. I should go home now. Or they'll expell me and send me to the garbage. I didn't want that. Good night. Have a nice day.

p.s: I can't wait to meet my boyfriend. He's going back from Jogjakarta tomorrow ;p 
 There is a pleasure in the pathless woods,
 There is a rapture on the lonely shore,
 There is society, where none intrudes,
 By the deep sea, and music in its roar:
 I love not man the less, but Nature more,
 From these our interviews, in which I steal
 From all I may be, or have been before,
 To mingle with the Universe, and feel
 What I can ne'er express, yet cannot all conceal.

-George Gordon, Lord Byron

December 11, 2011

A thought of a Dreamer #10

Sometimes in life, you find a special friend. Someone who changes your life just by being a part of it. Someone who makes you laugh until you can’t stop. Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world. Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it. This is forever friendship. When you’re down and the world seems dark and empty, your forever friend lifts you up in spirit and makes that dark and empty world suddenly seem bright and full. Your forever friend gets you through the hard times, the sad times and the confused times. If you turn and walk away, your forever friend follows. If you lose your way, your forever friend guides you and cheers you on. Your forever friend holds your hand and tells you that everything is going to be okay. And if you find such a friend, you feel happy and complete because you need not worry.
You have a forever friend, and forever has no end.

December 7, 2011

And in that moment, i swear we were infinite

In this photo: {jorgie, bertho, okto and Me}. Taken in Saturday night. Felt an immeasurable freedom, eternal, a perpetual force of nature like most teenagers do.

December 4, 2011

That "L" Word

We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. It’s easy. They all count. But there are certain people you love who do something else; they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. These are the most important people in your life, and you’ll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years. But there’s still one more tier to all this; there is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it always happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of those lovable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. You will remember having conversations with this person that never actually happened. You will recall sexual trysts with this person that never technically occurred. This is because the individual who embodies your personal definition of love does not really exist. The person is real, and the feelings are real-but you create the context. And context is everything. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they’re often just the person you happen to meet first time you really, really want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else

Hello December

please be good to me :)