How does it feel to be a woman who wants to pursue a higher
education in Indonesia?
Can be quite challenging for some.
There will
be quite many text messages or comments in social media asking “When
will you get married?” or “why you never post or upload something about a
guy?”
(like seriously you ask about these stuff?!!)
The pressure just
come from all the directions, thus if you don’t explode, you are a
really high quality woman.
When I decided to continue master (and Abroad) some
‘friends’ told me “Guys will be scared of you.” that’s the first
stereotype.
The second is, “If you will end up at the kitchen, why
should you spend so much time to study?”
First point, I love to cook. But I will not spend my life
just for cooking. I have this thing called ‘passion’ to learn. I can’t
be categorized as smart, no! I am just very determined and passionate in
getting what I want. I love to study here. The more I study, the more I
realize that I still know very less.
The more I study, the more attractive knowledge is, even
though the consequences are getting really tired and lack of sleep. I
will finish my master soon. I will be 24 y.o. when I finish master. I’ve
been changing a lot for these 2 years. If at the past because everybody
gets married then I want it too, now, I am more concern about repairing
the quality of myself. So when somebody blames my ‘higher education’ as
the reason why I am not married until now, it is totally wrong.
Marriage is a big deal, you have to be able to wake up
really early, preparing food, dealing with the baby, loosing me time,
and the most important are ‘compromises’. Spending the time for dating
or being close to somebody special is nice, but spending ‘your whole
time’ with that somebody, I think it would need patience in compromising
things. Those things I am practicing right now to be able to handle
those stuff before I get married.
At the moment, I am really enjoying to live independently,
earn money (from the scholarship :p), having my own place and learn to
manage it, buy things those I want, I think it is once in a lifetime. It
is nice to learn about how to be an independent woman, because being
independent is necessary no matter If you are married or not. I like this quote from a woman. “I don’t have to wait until
prince charming comes with his white horse because I already have my
own horse.” –A general manager in a multinational company.
Second point, I’ve witnessed so many broken marriages in
my 24 years of life. And my mom was also ‘a single parent’ for 15 years.
But she was so strong besides she was also well educated. She knew how
to earn money, raised two kids, fixed the electricity, repaired the
broken ceiling, she cooked very nice, and she is very pretty in spite of
her lacks as a single mom. She always taught me, “don’t complain too
much, and if you can handle things by yourself then do it, instead of
asking for help.”
Whereas I saw so many women were left by their husband and
they were totally broken. They did not know how to earn money, they did
not know how to deal with difficult situations, thus, it might affect
their children mentally and physically. Besides that, to answer the question “guys will be scared
of you”, I am questioning why we should marry somebody that does not
have that confident and eagerness to develop himself?
We shouldn’t
pretend to be dumb just to make a man feel confident. There is a nice advice from a motivator, "Use your logic
before you fall in love. Attraction can be an accident, but falling in
love is a decision. Be logic before you fall in love, because once you
do, it will be too difficult to be logic.”
I think a smart and a nice woman will ‘motivate’ her
partner to be a better man. Besides a great man, there always be a great
woman. Look at real examples, Aisyah, the wife of Rasul Muhammad SAW,
she was the smartest woman in her era. The outstanding scientist yet
romantic couple Pierre Curie and Marie Curie, Johan Sebastian Bach and
Anna Magdalena, Bill and Melinda gates, the ex- President of Indonesia
and aviation scientist -Bacharudin Jusuf Habibie and dr. Hasri Ainun and
so many other examples out of there.
The third point is, it is the right of the person to keep
her/his personal life private. Don’t complain about other people’s life
unless it is related to you. You can be a caring person and give an
advice, but let’s draw a line in between caring and too much curious
about other’s life. The last point, the quality of a person is not determined
by if he/she is single/taken. The quality of a person is determined by
how much this person can bring a great impact for his/her surroundings.
Disclaimer: This post is'nt mine.
Taken from Zahrina's posts from her Line account
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